Photo by rollingrck
“25 grand is simply not enough money for me to get shot dead in some ghetto. I will call ‘em back when they raise the starting salary back to a living wage.”
This is what I told my mother when I was fresh out of college, waiting tables for cash and a 3.30 an hour paycheck at a local greasy spoon and pretending to apply for jobs post-college. I was twisting in the wind, failing to land publishing positions and uninterested in selling insurance, knives, or the Yellow Pages (yes, people still do that). I had just taken the NYPD test because I figured it provided an opportunity to ward off my parent’s exhortations that I make a career decision pronto. I simply wasn’t into it. As far as I was concerned, waiting tables and drinking Negro Modelos on the public beach at 3 o’clock in the afternoon after a day shift was all I needed in life, until I decided to write the next classic American novel. After all, it worked for Kerouac and Thompson. Read more…
Photo by Hugh_Jack@ss
Believe it or not, writing for a humor website leaves me with a little bit of free time, which is why I spend upwards of 100 hours per week watching television. I’ve always been a “watch TV for the commercials” kind of guy, and I’ve noticed that lots of commercials are highlighting their products in terms of the current recession. From E-Trade to Domino’s, it seems that reminding people how hopelessly fucked their nest eggs are is a surefire way to make some sales, despite the fact that Domino’s has nothing to do with bailouts.
This could mean that we’ll be seeing all sorts of zany industries and markets relating their products to our current financial shit storm. I’ve written up some commercial transcripts, to give you an idea of what this might look like…
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Photo by Alex E. Proimos
I’m 27 and I spent the better part of my life in an upper middle class home surrounded by the rich and middle class alike. So it was with much chagrin that I embarked on this project known as adulthood, bill paying, and technology sales.
I had spent the first several years of my post-college freedom having a pretend college isn’t over pity party and I was left without the all important safety net. I had traded a foundation for booze, bud, and adventure. Read more…
September 24th, 2009
Phox
Photo by Internet
Gym memberships are like cell phones, everyone has one. The difference is, unlike a cell phone, most people don’t use the gym everyday. In a time when being money conscious is the least we can do to fund our nightly vices, here are alternatives to the gym that will leave you feeling healthier than a session with a colon cleanser or vacuum attachment (tough times).
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